Cycad Limmericks
Below are some limmericks (containing 'cycad content') offered forth for amusement (and/or beratement) by several subscribers of the cycad e-mail list (cycad@yahoogroups.com). Their last names have been omitted to protect the guilty...
| The newspaper column called "bike.ads" had "for sale - a collection of cycads". The erudite press Has created a mess In confusing their "cycles" with "cycads". -Roy O. |
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| Some cycads which grow in profusion Have landscapers choosing to use 'em to tart up a job and make a few bob 'till the owners get pricked and abuse 'em. -Roy O. |
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| My wife she doeth love me, she said it was so, but if you buy one more plant I will shoveth the container, caudex and remainder and you'll be sleeping alone. -Tom Bi. |
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| The lost tribe of people from Zion were really just growers of Dioon. Though Moses protested, The seeds they injested. And thought instead they were Mayan. -Jeff C. |
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| I once knew a group of young lads Who hoped to get rich with some cycads They stole a whole lot Tried to sell them but got A good thrashing instead from their dads. -Debra W. |
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| A cycad offers confusion. For those who produce in profusion. The Wife says enough, Such nasty old stuff. Oh well, it's the couch and a cushion. -Chris B. |
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| Poor Charly confused the gardenia With Sue's highly cherished Bowenia He cut her plant down She tossed him around Now Charly has moved to Sardinia -Debra W. |
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| In honor of the membership of our group approaching 500: As time marches on I discover there are many cycad lovers our numbers are growing each day there are more of us as new eyes catch glimpse of a horridus -Scott G. |
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| In the forests of Chiapas the beautiful grows a Zamia most rare and unusual. It pushes only one leaf, huge and black in relief. Lacandona deserves special perusal. -Ray T. |
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| Cycads, CITES offers to protect from cycad nuts who like to collect They espouse conservation to our consternation why? constituents votes I expect! -Neil C. |
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| I once new a silly old fool, whose wits cost him something so cool, Instead of bug killer, he sprayed cavity filler, and plastered his favourite edule. -Wayne A. |
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| If he knew then what he knows now, Jack would've forsaken the beans and kept the cow. But into the ground he spaded went the cycad seeds he traded And the only stalk he's seen is on the Dow. -Jeff C. |
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| An Encephalartos upon a steep hill tired of standing stock still. When she started to trot, her coralloids caught.... Poor seedlings, she left them no will! -Craig N. |
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| A Dioon seed's (from sunny Laredo) -spermic went Platy-, not Radio-. It cracked a great smile, stuck its tongue out awhile... And rotted, just like a tomato. -Craig N. |
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| One listless sweltering moon beddomei with a Dioon? inermis, she moaned as he started to cone koikas, and now maritima -David R. |
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| Oaxaca, a pleasant young Zamia vernal the occasional dahlia roezlii sighing robustas espying a Stangeria, woodii me? -David R. |
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| While searching the forests of Kenya for the leaves, cones and seeds of Bowenia They said "Oh, my boy, you may find a sclavoi, But the cycad you seek can't be seen 'ere" -Roy O. |
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| Some species may fit in your hand while others are larger and grand hopei is tall and laurenti's not small but merolae will fill the whole land -Scott |
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